December 24th 2:44
Today, as in the last days (from 16th to 24th), we haven’t celebrated the “Novena”, a “preparation” to Christmas where families (and friends) get together sharing “Natilla” (a Colombian flan), “Buñuelos” (fried dough balls) and “Canelazo” (hot “agua de panela” with “aguardiente”). Even in the last year, while I was laying in bed depressed, my family celebrated it, but not this year.
We have gradually replaced the Novena with constant discussing about our separation and how that is tearing us apart as a family.
Not tonight. Fabian had just left. We played Xbox 360 for uncountable hours that will be added to the uncountable hours we had played before.
Tonight dad and I watched from 21 to 00 hours some documentaries in Discovery Civilization, brought to us by the new cable television that I don’t want to suck out my life. These documentaries where about the “Secret Tomb of Jesus” and “Who was Jesus?” Even when I haven’t made the “First Communion” in a catholic country as Colombia aka “El País del Sagrado Corazón”, I remembered the times when my dad used to read me books in bed, one of them was The Bible.
When reading, he usually says “It’s not for religion; it’s for power, for learning how to be a leader”. The Biblical fiction was more than fictional stories, was a blueprint for power. Now I understand that it was also examples of the so longed Manhood.
I wasn’t that interested in the possible location of Jesus’ bones (as directed by James Cameron). On the other way, I was interested in understanding how Jesuschrist became that charismatic figure more admirable for his human role than for his divinical figure. I also have some resemblance about the first pages of Klaus Kinski’s Ich Brauche Liebe (“I need love”).
It’s 3:39. While writing the above paragraphs I’ve been watching “The Reader”: how the law, the literature, the love, the lust and the secrets meet parts of my life, incarnated by other characters in another place and in a different time.