Note: This is a reponse to Shacking Up Vs Tying The Knot by Heartiste, who argues that there are some advantages «accrues a man who decides to cohabit instead of marry?».
Note 2: I almost felt dirty submitting a news tip for an article of my own but I think is necessary because there are some misconceptions about the differences between cohabitation and marriage and we usually think they’re different, but they can have the same negative effects on men not only here in Colombia but also in the US, not only for the reasons you’ve already said in «Why Cohabitation is Generally for Chumps».
Here in Colombia, the Union Marital de Hecho / Marital Union (Ley 54 de 1990) is more common than the marriages (http://m.eltiempo.com/gente/el-matrimonio-es-una-prctica-en-desuso-en-colombia/10939773).
In its economical aspect is analogous to the Marriage: you acquire goods during your union/convivence during 2+ years that conform the Patrimonial Factual Society (Sociedad Patrimonial de Hecho), and when for whatever the cause you are going to separate, the goods are splitted also by the half (50-50). Sadly, is almost sure the man would have to pay alimony to the woman to maintain her and also it’s possible that he is accused (often falsely, because lawyers recommend women doing that to gain an upper hand in court) of domestic violence so he also would have to pay for damages.
The same way with children: the children born during the union are by legal suposition from the male partner so he has to prove that they’re not his in order to avoid child support and alimony in case of separation from the woman. If they’re his descendence, he has to pay and it’s more plausible that he’s not going to get the custudy just for being male and therefore not supposed to be a good father, better than the woman.
There are no ‘prenups’ for these kinds of relationships and if there were (you can’t pact freely in therms of family law), you’d not be saved from the court rape that is so common that even my family law school teacher accepts that there’s a bias against men in the colombian family courts.
What can you do in order to avoid this? Having relationships with women that don’t last over 2+years to avoid the conformation of the Patrimonial Society or have sporadical LTR’s or MLTR’s avoiding permanency of 2+years; not cohabitate nor engage in unprotected sex.
If you commit the mistake of marriying or engaing in Union Marital de Hecho, avoid that your properties enter the common sociedad patrimonial. You can do that by acquiring them before marriage/marital union, by acquiring them in donation/heritage/legacy (a título gratuito), or by celebrating simulatory acts (e.g. like donating those goods to a relative/close friend to appear that you don’t have goods to split; or creating a fund; or putting all your money in a foreign account). The last resort is selling everything before your properties get seized and leaving to a country without extradition.
What about Civil Unions? How are the Civil Unions in the US?
