Soon every woman in the world will have a smartphone, and the idea of commitment and love will be a throwback, something that belongs in old movies. Until then, when I’m talking to a girl and she pulls out some piece of shit old Nokia phone, I can’t help but get a little excited. I know she will be warmer, I know she won’t flake, and I know that I’m about to have an experience with a woman that will give me an honest shot. But if she pulls out a smartphone, I know that she’ll just be adding me to her collection of penises. She’s the celebrity, and I’m nothing more than a fan.